फिर मत रोना गार्गी

इंसान कई दफा परिस्थितियों को अपना दास बना देता है. कई दफा इंसान परिस्थितियों का दास बनने को विवश हो जाता है. गार्गी से अच्छा इसे कौन समझ सकता था. एक छोटी सी ज़िन्दगी में ही कई बार उसने इंसान और परिस्थितियों को ऐसी आँख मिचोली करते देखा था. वक़्त को पकड़ने की कवायद में हमेशा उसके सामने ऐसे हालात पैदा होते गए की उसने अपने आप को वक़्त के सामने विवश ही होता पाया. अपने माँ बाप की राजकुमारी हमेशा वक़्त की दासी - सी ही बनी रही.

कैसे भूल सकती है अपने वो दिन, बचपन के दिन, जब वह अल्हड़ सी अपने बंगले के बड़े से बाग़ में भागा करती और उसके माँ-बाप अपनी इस प्यारी राजकुमारी के हर नाज़ों - नखरे उठाते नहीं थकते थे. कभी कूद कर वह गेंदें की बड़ी सी झाड़ के पीछे छुप जाती और उसके पिता यूँ ही झूठ - मुठ के उसे ढूंढने की कोशिश में कभी आम के पेड़ के पीछे तो कभी सूरजमुखी की क्यारिओं में उसे ढूंढ़ते फिरते. फिर अचानक वह खिलखिला कर हंस देती. उसकी हंसी की खनखनाहट से जैसे सारा बाग़ झूम उठता. उसके पिता की रगों में तो मानो ये हंसी रक्त के साथ एक नयी उर्जा का संचार कर जाता. गार्गी भी अपने लाल बोर्डर वाले सफ़ेद फ्राक में परी-सी ही दिखती. उसके बाग़ में इधर-उधर भागने से जैसे सारा बाग़ झूम उठता. अपने पिता की उस कोठी की सबसे बड़ी संपत्ति थी गार्गी. नाजों से पली. अपने माता - पिता के पलकों पे झूलती - खेलती.

वक़्त यूँ ही गार्गी की दासी बना उसके इर्द- गिर्द घूम रहा था. वक़्त भी गार्गी के साथ जवान होता जा रहा था. उधर वक़्त के चेहरे पे झुर्रियां पड़ती जा रही थी इधर गार्गी की खूबसूरती अपनी चरम को पाने को बेताब होती जा रही थी. अपनी कक्षा में हमेशा अव्वल आना गार्गी की आदत बन गयी थी. कल तक अपने माता - पिता की लाडली, अपने स्कूल - कॉलेज के शिक्षकों के भी आँखों का तारा बन गयी थी.

जब गार्गी ने अपनी जवानी में कदम रखा तो जैसे उस छोटे शहर में चर्चा का विषय बन गयी.  हर इंसान उसे अपनी संगीनी बनाने की कामना करने लगा. गार्गी भी कभी बंद आँखों तो कभी खुली आँखों से अपने सपनों के राजकुमार के सपनों में खोने लगी थी. काले घोड़ें पे झक सफ़ेद कपड़े पहने और हाथों में तलवार लिए उसके सपनों का राजकुमार अक्सर उसे दूर से आता दिखता.  उस एक ख्याल भर से ही वह शर्म से सुर्ख लाल हो जाया करती. हर बार अपने सपनो के राजकुमार के चेहरे को देख पाने की चेष्टा में वह उसकी आँखों से ओझल हो जाया करता. उसके पिता ने भी अपनी परी के लिए उसके सपनों के राजकुमार को खोज निकालने में कोई कसर नहीं छोड़ी.

वो दिन भी आ गया जब गार्गी के लिए सचमुच उसके सपनों का राजकुमार मिल गया था. हां, शायद यही था वह सपनों का राजकुमार. काले घोड़े पर झक सफ़ेद कपड़े पहने. चेहरा तो नहीं देख पायी थी उस राजकुमार का गार्गी पर शायद इस जैसा ही था वह सपनों का राजकुमार. सब कुछ परी - कथाओं जैसा बीत रहा था गार्गी की ज़िन्दगी में. वक़्त भी गार्गी की दासी बना उसके नखरे उठा रहा था.

वह बचपन की अल्हड़ गार्गी अब एक पूर्ण नारी बन गयी थी.

गार्गी के अपने ससुराल जाते ही जैसे उसके पिता की वह आलिशान कोठी सुनसान हो गयी. अब तक जो वक़्त उस कोठी में दासी बना फिरता था वह अपने शबाब में आने लगा था. गार्गी के पिता के चेहरे पे हावी होता सा. अचानक ही जैसे वो बूढ़े हो गए थे. साड़ी ऊर्जा क्षीण सी होती जा रही थी. जो बाग़ गार्गी के क़दमों की एक आहट पे अपने पुरे शबाब पे आ जाता था आज उजाड़ हो गया था. गार्गी अपने ससुराल जाते - जाते वक़्त को भी साथ ले गयी थी.

लेकिन परिस्थितियां और वक़्त आज भी गार्गी के इर्द - गिर्द बांदी बना घूम रहा था. सब कुछ ठीक - ठाक ही चल रहा था. परी - कथाएं अब भी गार्गी की ज़िन्दगी की घटनाओं से कहानियां चुरा कर अपनी एक मुकम्मल कहानी बना रही थी. गार्गी ने जिस सपनों के राजकुमार की कामना की थी, यह लगभग वैसा ही था.

कई दफा हम समझ बैठते है की अगर वक़्त हमारे कदम से कदम मिला रहा है तो हम उसकी चाल को अपने हिसाब से निर्णय ले कर गढ़ सकते है. लेकिन वक़्त बड़ा ही शातिर होता है. वो तो अपनी अलग ही बिसात बिछा कर कोई और ही खेल खेलने की तैयारी करता रहता है. और हम समझ बैठते है की ये हम है जो सारी कहानी बना रहे है. ये सोच हमें वक़्त के उस खेल में और भी उलझाती चली जाती है. फिर एक समय ऐसा आता है की हम बस मोहरे बने रह जाते है वक़्त की उस बिसात पर.

आखिर वक़्त भी कब तक गार्गी की मर्जी का दास बना रहता. उसने एक करवट बदली. अब गार्गी की जीवन की परी कथा का वो आसमानी प्यार वास्तविक प्यार का जामा पहनने लगा था. गार्गी परिस्थितियों को समझ कर अपने आप को अनुकूल बनाने की हर संभव कोशिश करती रही. अपने पिता की राजकुमारी ससुराल की दासी बन गयी थी. कोई शिकायत नहीं था उसे फिर भी इस बदली ज़िंदगी से. खुश थी वो. जिस प्यार में वो कभी खोयी रहती थी वो प्यार अब बस बंद कमरे की चारदीवारी तक रह गया था. धीरे - धीरे उसका विवाह निर्वाह बनता जा रहा था. गार्गी फिर भी खुश थी. वह हर संभव कोशिश करती अपने सपनों के राजकुमार जैसे दिखते पति को खुश रखने की. 

वक़्त ने कई करवटें बदली इस दौरान. हर बदलता लम्हा गार्गी को और मजबूती दे जाता. बस फर्क अब इतना आ गया था की जो वक़्त गार्गी की दासी बना फिरता था, आज उसने गार्गी को अपनी दासी बना लिया था. इन दो वर्षों में गार्गी अपनी उम्र से कहीं ज्यादा बड़ी हो गयी थी. महज २३ की उम्र में वक़्त और परिस्थितिओं के हर रंग से रूबरू हो गयी थी वो.

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जब सबकुछ अच्छा हो रहा हो तो हम आगे की कभी ज्यादा फ़िक्र नहीं करते. बस बहते चले जाते है उस अच्छे वक़्त के साथ. जब परिस्थितियां प्रतिकूल हो जाती है तब हम अचानक धरातल पर आ जाते है. लेकिन कुछ ऐसे भी सशक्त इंसान होते है जो उन प्रतिकूल परिस्थितियों से भी दो-चार कर लेते है और हर लम्हे वक़्त के लिए भी एक चुनौती कड़ी करते जाते है. गार्गी वैसे ही इंसानों में एक थी. बदलते हालत में वक़्त से भी तेजी से सपने आप को बदलते जाना जैसे उसकी आदतों में शुमार था.

लेकिन किसी भी परिस्थिति की एक पराकाष्ठा होती है. और इन दो वर्षों में शायद वो पराकाष्ठा आने लगी थी. गार्गी जितना रिश्तों को सुलझाने की चेष्टा करती उसका वास्तविकता का राजकुमार उसे और उलझाता जाता. और फिर वह एक पल आ गया जब परस्थितियों की पराकाष्ठा ने अपनी सारी सीमाएँ तोड़ डाली. पता नहीं गार्गी एक बंधन से आज़ाद हुई थी या बंधन ने उसे और उलझा दिया था.

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उसके पिता की कोठी में वापस वह की सबसे प्यारी राजकुमारी आ गयी थी. लेकिन उसकी इस उपस्थिति ने किसी के मन में उल्लास पैदा नहीं किया था. कोठी के बड़े बाग़ के सारे पेड़ - पौधों में एक नयी जान फिर आ गयी थी पर अब वो उस उत्साह से झूम नहीं पा रहे थे. आखिर उनकी सबसे खुबसूरत राजकुमारी के चेहरे पर जब वो मुस्कान और चाल में वो चंचलता न रही हो तो ये पेड़ भी कैसे मदमस्त हो झूम सकते थे.

कोठी में वो ख़ुशी फिर से वापस नहीं आ पाई इस राजकुमारी के आने के बाद भी. गार्गी के माँ-बाप की आँखों के आंसू अपनी प्यारी राजकुमारी की आँखों के सूनेपन को देख कर सूख नहीं पा रहे थे. एक अजीब सन्नाटा सा छा गया था कोठी में. ऐसा सन्नाटा तो तब भी नहीं पसरा था जब गार्गी इस घर को छोड़ कर अपने सपनों से दिखते राजकुमार के साथ गयी थी.

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इन बदलते हालत में गार्गी के पिता के मन में अपनी राजकुमारी के भविष्य को लेकर कसमसाहट पैदा हो गयी थी. एक दुविधा जैसे उनके दिलो - दिमाग में घर करता जा रहा था. गार्गी खुद भी अपनी जीवन में आये इस अकस्मात बदलाव से हतप्रव्ह थी. ज़िन्दगी जैसे ख़तम होने की कग़ार पर दिखती जा रही थी. पता नहीं चला कब दो महीने बीत गए इन परिस्थितिओं से दो-चार होते होते.

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गार्गी अपने बाग़ में बैठी शुन्य को निहार रही थी. इस तंद्रा में वो किसी और ही दुनिया में चली गयी थी. एक ऐसी दुनिया जहाँ सब कुछ मौन था. सब कुछ धुंधला - धुंधला. हवा का हल्का - हल्का झोंका गार्गी के तन - बदन में एक सिहरन पैदा कर रहा था. वो अपने पश्मीना शाल को कुछ और मजबूती से जकड़ कर उस दुनिया की सैर कर रही थी - ख़ामोशी से. अचानक पास के पलाश के पेड़ की एक घनी डाल से गौरये का घोसला निचे धप्प से आ गिरा. उसके नीचे गिरते ही गौरये की एक तेज़ चहचहाहट उसे वापस इस भौतिक दुनिया में वापस खिंच लाया. गार्गी ने अपने ह्रदय में एक तेज़ चुभन महसूस की. लगा शायाद उसकी अपनी दुनिया फिर से उजड़ गयी हो इस घोंसले के साथ. वो गौरैया अपने उजड़े आशियाने के चारो ओर बड़ी बेचैनी से चहल कदमी कर रही थी. कुछ पल को ऐसा ही चलता रहा. फिर अचानक उस गौरैये ने अपने उजड़े आशियाने से एक  तिनका उठाया और उड़ गयी वापस पलाश की उसी डाली पर. और फिर अगले एक घंटे तक गौरैये का तिनका उठाने और उड़ने का यही सिलसिला चलता रहा. गार्गी एक मूक गवाह बनी उस गौरैये के उजड़ने और बसने का यह पूरा मंजर देखती रही, ख़ामोशी से. अचानक वो कड़ी हो गयी अपनी कुर्सी से. उसकी पैरो में फिर से वो मजबूती आ गयी थी. एक आत्मविश्वास से भरी मजबूती. पलाश के उस पेड़ ने शायद अपनी राजकुमारी को वापस अपने अस्तित्व में आते पहचान लिया था. गार्गी के इस आत्मविश्वास भरी भंगिमा ने उस पलाश में भी मस्ती भर दिया. इस ठण्ड की शांत शाम में वह अचानक अपने पत्ते खड़खड़ाकर झूम उठे. पेड़ पौधे भी शायद इंसान के सुख से सुखी और दुःख से दुखी हो उठते है. कई बार हम इंसान, इंसानों की भावनाओ को समझ नहीं पाते और कई बार पेड़ - पौधे हमारे खयालातों से ज्यादा वाकिफ़ हो जाते है. पलाश के इस अचानक से झूम उठने से सारा बाग़ झूम उठा. ऐसा लगा मानो दो वर्षो के बाद वापस उस बड़े से बाग़ में बसंत आ गया हो. 

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आज अचानक अपने बीते दिनों के सारे घटनाक्रम गार्गी की आँखों के सामने बिखर से गए. आज फिर वो जीवन के अजीब से दोराहे पर खड़ी थी. समझ नहीं पा रही थी क्यों बार बार परिस्थितियां उसकी भावनाओ को अग्नि परीक्षा देने को मजबूर करती है. हर बार वो अपने जीवन को व्यवस्थित करने की कोशिश करती और हर बार वक़्त फूंक मार कर उसकी व्यवस्थित जीवन को अस्त-व्यस्त कर देता. अचानक से बिखर गए अपने जीवन को तिनका - तिनका सम्हाल रही थी वो.

***

अजीब सी कश्मकश से गार्गी की ज़िन्दगी गुज़र रही थी. इतने दिनों में वो खुल के हँसना भूल गयी थी वो. आज हँसते हँसते उसकी आँखों में पानी भर आये. पिछले कुछ दिनों से वो काफी खुश महसूस कर रही थी. उसकी ख़ुशी उसकी उन सपनीली आँखों से रिसती सी नज़र आती. जैसे उसकी खोई खुबसुरती फिर से वापस आने लगी थी. वापस वही बाल सुलभ चंचलता ने उसके पलों को और भी खुबसूरत बना दिया था. गार्गी की ख़ुशी और खुबसूरती तब और भी बढ़ जाती जब वह सुबीन के साथ होती.
सुबीन, एक बहुत ही आम सा लड़का जो उसके साथ काम करता था. कोई जयादा दिखावा नहीं, कोई खास शक्लो सूरत नहीं. शायद ही कोई लड़की सुबीन जैसे लड़के को अपने सपनों में सफ़ेद घोड़े पर हाथ में तलवार लिए देखने की कल्पना करती हो. उसकी मध्यम काया में जो सबसे जयादा निखर कर दिखती थी वो थी उसकी जिंदादिली. हंसमुख, हमेशा मुस्कराता सा लड़का. उसके होने भर से गार्गी अपने में एक सकारात्मक ऊर्जा महसूस करती थी. ऐसा लगता जैसे उसकी निर्मल उपस्थीति गार्गी के खालीपन को खुशियों से लबरेज़ कर जाता.
गार्गी कुछ दिनों से अपने में एक अजीब परिवर्तन महसुस कर रही थी. पिछले पांच सालो में उसने अपने अतितको हर रोज़ जीया था. हर बार उसका बीता हुआ अतित उसकी आँखों को नम कर के चला जाता था. तब जब वह परिपक्वता को प्राप्त कर रही थी, वक़्त ने उसे ऐसे मुकाम दिए की अपनी उम्र से जयादा परिपक्व हो गयी थी. जवानी का अल्हड़पन कभी देखा ही नहीं था उसने अपने जीवन में. अब जैसे वो अल्हर्पण फिर वापस आ गया था उसका सुबीन के साथ. जब जब वह सुबीन के साथ होती तो गार्गी और भी गार्गी-सी हो जाती. सुबीन भी उसे उसकी ज़िन्दगी की हर ख़ुशी देने में कमी नहीं छोड़ता. हँसता- हंसाता. गाता - गवाता. हर वो बदमासियाँ करता गार्गी के साथ मिलकर जो शायद गार्गी नहीं कर पायी थी, ज़िन्दगी को समझने की कवायद में. फिर बैठ कर घंटो हँसते दोनों. इतना की हँसते हँसते गार्गी की आँखों में पानी भर आता. जैसे इस ख़ुशी की आंसू में गार्गी के अतित के दर्द धुलने से लगे थे.

***

गार्गी भी अनजान नहीं थी अपने भीतर के इस बदलाव से. सतही तौर पे हो वो काफी खुश थे अपने भीतर के इस बदलाव से, या यूँ कह लें कि अपने आप में वापस आने से।  पर भीतर से वो अब भी उबर नहीं पाई थी अपने अतीत के  उन लम्हों से  जिसने उसे उससे छीन-सा लिया था। डरती थी, कही यह दौर भी जल्दी खत्म न हो जाए और फिर वो अलग थलग ना महसूस करने लगे दुनिया से। शायद इस बार वो सम्हाल नहीं पायेगी वक़्त के खिलवाड़ को।

कई दफा हँसते - हँसते वो खो - सी जाती शुन्य  में और सुबीन भौंचक सा देखता रह जाता गार्गी को अचानक किसी और जहाँ में चले जाते हुए।

सुबीन जानता था की भले ही वह और गार्गी बड़े अच्छे दोस्त बन गए थे, पर आज भी वो गार्गी को अच्छी तरह जान नहीं पाया था। गार्गी हमेशा उसे रहस्यमी सी दिखती थी। जैसे एक बंद किताब की तरह हो जिसका पहला पन्ना तो रंग - बिरंगी तस्वीरों से भरी हो पर हर पन्ने में कई राज छिपी हो। गूढ़ रहस्य। सुबीन यूँ तो गार्गी के साथ बिताये हर पल को जम कर जीता था पर हमेशा एक खिचाव महसूस करता था गार्गी और अपने रिश्तों के बीच। ये हमेशा एक खलल पैदा करती सुबीन के मन में। पर गार्गी को धो देने के डर से कभी भी अपने को पूरी तरह से व्यक्त नहीं कर पाता था।

***

वक़्त यूँ ही कटता जा रहा जा रहा था। वक़्त आपस में जुड़ कर दिन और दिन महीने बनते जा रहे थे। गार्गी और सुबीन आपस में और भी अच्छे दोस्त होते जा रहे थे। उनके बीच का विश्वास और भी बढ़ता जा रहा था। इन सारी  वजहों से वक़्त ने सुबीन को अपने आप को व्यक्त करने का आत्मविश्वास दे दिया था।

अपने रिश्तों के इसी बढ़ते आत्मविश्वास में एक दिन उसने गार्गी से पूछ  ही डाला -
"गार्गी, मेरा नाम सुबीन है। तुम कौन हो गार्गी?"
"ये कैसा सवाल है सुबीन। कहीं तुमने कुछ खा तो नहीं लिया है जो ऐसी बहकी-बहकी बातें कर रहे हो!" - गार्गी लगभग हंसते हुए - सी बोली।
"नहीं गार्गी मैं बिलकुल होंश में हूँ। लगभग एक वर्ष होने को आयें हैं हमारी दोस्ती को। इस एक वर्ष में तुम शायद सब कुछ जानती हो मेरे बारे में। मेरे अतीत मेरा वर्तमान और मेरे भविष्य के सपने। सब कुछ। लेकिन मैं सिर्फ तुम्हारा नाम और तुम्हारी अचानक ही पैदा हो जाती ख़ामोशी के अलावा कुछ नहीं जानता तुम्हारे बारे में। कौन हो तुम गार्गी? क्या तुम अपनी पहचान मुझसे नहीं करवाओगी गार्गी? क्या अब भी मैं इतना अनजाना हूँ तुम्हारे लिए की तुम वैयक्तिक तौर पर मुझसे दूरी बनाए रखना चाहती हो? क्या इस एक वर्ष में भी मैं तुम्हारे भरोसे के लायक नहीं हो पाया हूँ गार्गी? बोलो गार्गी, कौन हो तुम?"

"मैं एक पारी हूँ और दूर पारी लोक से आये हूँ" और खिल्ख्ला कर हँस  पड़ी थी गार्गी. लेकिन इस बार हँसते -  हँसते उसकी आँखों में पानी की जो महीन परत जम आयी थी उसके पीछे की भावानाओं को नहीं छुपा पायी वो सुबीन से।
सुबीन ने भी दुबारा उससे नहीं पूछा उसके बारे में। बस ख़ामोशी से उस शाम को बिता डाला दोनों ने। हाँ, एक मानसिक द्व्न्द ज़रूर चलता रहा दोनों के मस्तिष्क में पूरी शाम।

***

You n Me!

When life seems moving in slow motion,
When the time flows in aberration,
When I feel its too late to be in action,
Its you who let me feel Yes I am!
Yes I am!

-Amitesh

The Power of Thee

I was in Puri for some meeting. The time had been adjusted in such a way that we should get lots of leisure time to enjoy and celebrate the success that we had achieved in last month.

To use this time wisely, Temple tour of Puri had been planned. It was so much a fun of visiting the temple that this entire trip had acted as a stress buster for me.

There was a tree called Magical Tree inside the premises of the temple that is said to be fulfilling 3 boons a year if you tie a thread on it. I am a kind of person who does not try to test the power of Thee just to verify common belief. It does not mean that I do not believe on the Supreme Power.

There was a lady in our team who was going near the Magical Tree to tie thread. I asked her if she is really going to tie the thread and ask for 3 wishes, her reply was very strange. She said, “Someone once had told me that don’t be so much proud of your self that you could not ask favor from God even”.

No words to say. I had always seen her as a very professional kind of person. But this was a very contrasting side of her. I really liked this gesture.

Still testing the power of God is something I am not comfortable with.

Ecstatic

At times it feels a little different. At times we feel that we are coming out of the cocoon and trying to spread our wings to fly high, higher, even higher that the world looks much clearer to us. At times it feels like every thing is prettier than ever.

Don’t know why this feeling is coming to me. It’s like I am not walking on road but just gliding. Every work I am doing these days makes me work with much more interest. It’s like I have started feeling a little more responsible for my surroundings, the people and for everything happening around me. Sometimes feel that I should smile for no reason, and at other time feels that seriousness is very much required. Don’t know why all these feeling. But there is something that is making me feel good from within. And I am happy for this good feeling.



याद तुम्हारी

जब गुलमोहर पुरवाई में मदमाता है

जब जिस्म उस ठंडक में सिहर जाता है

जब शरद की धूप चेहरे को सहलाता है

तुम्हारी याद सताती है

जब चाँद अपनी शबाब पे इठलाता है

जब रातें वक़्त के साथ गहराता है

जब अरमां क्षितिज को छु जाता है

तुम्हारी याद सताती है

जब भीड़ में भी दिल अकेला पाता है

जब हसीं सपनो से मन भरमाता है

जब नींद न सोने की हद तक सताता है

तुम्हारी याद सताती है

जब हसीं भी आँखों में नमी भर जाता है

जब भावनाएं शब्द न गढ़ पाता है

जब चेतना खुमारी से निश्चेतन हो जाता है

तुम्हारी याद सताती है

- अमितेश

तृष्णा

कभी खुले आस्मां में 

परों को खोल कर उड़ने की चाहत

फिर शाम ढले अपनी नीड़ में लौट जाना.

कभी चाँद को देख कर 

उसकी तरह चमकने की चाहत

फिर यूँ ही अपने कहे पे सकुचा जाना.

कभी हर बंद डब्बे के राज़ तक पहुचना

कभी अनमने से ख़ुद डब्बे में बंद हो जाना. 

ज़िन्दगी के गूढ़ रहस्य से 

मुझे रू-ब-रू  कराना

कभी ज़िन्दगी से भी जटिल बन जाना.

कभी पूरी कायनात 

अपनी हथेली पे समेट लेना

कभी खुली हथेली आस्मां की ओर कर सो जाना.

कभी भरी नज़रों से एक टक देखना 

कभी मेरी नज़रों से मुझे ही छुपाना.

कभी हौले से मेरे क़रीब आना

कभी चुपके से मुझसे दूर चले जाना.

कई दफा देखा है तुझे अपने आप के भीतर

कई दफा देखा है मैंने  

अपने आप को तेरे भीतर

कई दफा देखा है तुझे

मुझमे सिमटते हुए

कभी मेरी ज़िन्दगी से रेत सी फिसलते हुए.

तुम मरीचिका हो

मेरे जीवन के तपते रेगिस्तान की

जो मुझमे और दूर जाने का ज़ज्बा भरती है.

शायद मैं पा न सकूँ तुमको

पर तुम्हे पाने की लालसा

बनी रहेगी जीवन भर मुझमे

हमेशा.

शायद मेरी साँसों के

आखरी कतरे तक

- अमितेश

दस्तक

प्यार

गोधुली के सिहरते सूरज सा एहसास

और वक़्त के साथ सघन होती उसकी तपिस

महुआ की चमकीले पीले फूलों सी नाज़ुक

और फैलती उसकी मदमाती महक.

एक अव्यक्त एहसास

सर्दी के गीले दिनों में भी

जो गुनगुना एहसास भर जाता है

दिलों के रस्ते.

यु ही बेवजह

मुस्कान फ़ैल जाना चेहरे पर,

चहकना हर छोटी-सी बात पे भी,

मुट्ठी भर ख़ुशी

सैलाब सी ज़िन्दगी पर फैलती सी,

जब ज़िन्दगी बदलती सी लगती है.

दिलों को दिलेरी सिखाता सा.

क्या मुझे फिर ये एहसास दे रहा है

अपने आने का

मेरे ह्रदय पर दस्तक दे कर!

- अमितेश

Retirement : Threshold in The Imaginary Wall

Many a times we feel very lonely in life. Lonely, as if the world is running fast giving us a kind of stagnation. As if the world is conspiring to exclude us. And during that time, we try being very resistive or rather develop a little low profile, snatches some time from the world for us, to retrospect, relive, and cherish what we had done for the world and what good we got from world in return, as a souvenir… that we could keep with us for the lifetime.

Retirement from the professional life is one such moment when we ask ourselves, is retirement creating a kind of wall between us and the world? During that time, people really start recollecting the goods’ that he had done in the past to let his soul pat on his back of doing good job. This is probably another quest to make a threshold in that imaginary wall between us and the world, to avoid any situation of being solely and also to create a situation when we easily can keep ourselves separated or mingled at our will.

Though mostly being retire from the professional world do not much changes views of the people about us, except for the fact that we restrict ourselves of creating any situation when any financial burden should not get passed on to the retired person.

My dad is probably facing the same kind of situation. He is going to retire from his job by the end of September ’11. This somewhere had started creating a kind of insecurity in him. Though I am constantly talking to him to let him not at all feel lonely.

While talking to him today, he told me about lot of opportunities available with the government for the retired persons to work for the government and get some monetary benefits as well. When I told him to work just to get engaged and not for money, his view was, “Money is important. We do need money on every walk of our life”.

I was just listening to him. I wanted to let him speak and speak out whatever was their in his mind. He was speaking about what good he did in these thirty years and he feels he is very much satisfied with his this long career.

I feel relieved and happy once he said, “I think this is first time when I am talking to you so much”.

Dad, you need not have to justify what good you have done in your professional life. I am the witness of that. I am probably as old as your career and I have seen you working. I tried inculcating the same thing in me as well. Whatever I am today, that is just because of you giving me that traits of working hard till the task get accomplished. And please never feel lonely in your life.

Thank You So Much Dad.

मैं और मुझमे मैं

सुरज

जब सात घोड़ों पे सवार

जहाँ को रोशन करता है

और मैं

उस रोशनी मे

अपने आप को धुला सा महसूस करता हूँ

तब एहसास होता है 

मेरे होने का. 

जब मेरी परछाइयाँ यु ही 

मेरा अनुशरण करती हैं

अपनी काली काया ले कर,

एहसास होता है मेरे भीतर छुपे 

मेरे मैं के होने का.

जब

अपनी उम्मीदों में,

बादल के खुरदरे सीने पर 

अपने पैरों के अनदिखे निशान छोड़ता हूँ 

आभास होता है 

जहाँ के ज़र्रे ज़र्रे मे मैं हूँ, 

ज़र्रा ज़र्रा ज़हाँ का

मुझमे आत्मसात है.

शायद मैं न लिखा जाऊं 

इतिहास के सुनहरे पन्नों पर

फिर भी

हाँ वज़ूद है मेरा इस जहां में कहीं.

मैं हूँ इस जहां  में कहीं

अपनी एक छोटी-सी दुनियां को समेटे

अपने आप में कहीं.

हाँ मेरा भी वज़ूद है 

इस जहाँ में कहीं.

-अमितेश  

Vibes of City

It was 4th March 2009 when I came to Raipur in a very wet Sunday when the Sun was trying hard to get out of those mid sky clouds. By the time I reached hotel, I started loving the city. Without meeting any person in particular how come someone start loving any city? Perhaps it’s the vibes of the city that was syncing with me. And that has bought me to feel a little affectionate about the city by spending just 20 minutes while traveling a distance of about 18 km.

The first impression of city for me was that I have started loving the city. So, I was seeing everything of the city through those spectacles only. While encountering any situation, I was feeling like, its OK it happens and I will face the situation of the city because I like this place. I have faced many tough times in this place but I never have felt frustrated of the situations since I loved this place.

Now it’s 20th February 2011. It again was a Sunday, but a little cold evening. It was a time to bid Adieu to Credible Raipur (What the CG Government says in its advertisement). I got transferred to Kolkata from Raipur. This is the third time when I would be coming to Kolkata. Once in 1996 when I came here to appear in some entrance exam and second time in 2005. The second time I came here just till airport as my connecting flight from Patna to Mumbai was via Kolkata. I still remember my 3 hour stay here at Kolkata Airport. The time gap of 3 hour between my connecting flights had forced me to stay here at the airport, a little captive kind of situation where the time was not that much to enjoy the city. So the world for me was airport for those 3 hours. My experience during that 3 hours was, God, its so very dirty airport with lot of flies keeping you engage with them. The floor of the airport with lot of dirty black spots that even after cleaning had stayed in my memories.

So again I reached the City of Joy. It was a low flying ATR flight that actually gives you a clear view of the ground while flying. As I was nearing Kolkata, those beautiful city lights started sparkling. The sparkling city light scattered in a very maverick manner. The first impression during that time was, Oh what a beautiful independent city that is. A city of Joy in real sense. Where even the lights are so joyously sparkling independently.

With the announcement of Pilot about our landing in the city, I already had developed a kind of Goosebumps. Another new experience is waiting for me. This time in a city that is know for its traditions; the soothing music; the joyous attitude of people; the yellow taxi; white dressed policemen; the 2 coach trams; the women with cotton sari, big bindi and curly hair – perhaps the most sensuous ladies of the world; the men with kurta with a nice embroidery near its buttons, a little talkative; the land of Rabindra Sangeet and lots of talent and the land of communists. The nearer the carriage bus was coming to the terminal, the more my heart started skipping some of the beats. The nearer the bus coming to the terminal, my past two experiences started flashing in front of eyes – the beautiful city, flying pigeons, metro trains, trams, low fare buses, and dirty airport. And to my utter surprise, the Kolkata Airport didn’t have changed much in these 5 – 6 years. It was not that clean, flies were still there. The only different was stains on the floor. It was not there, perhaps because the flooring was new.

After a waiting of around an hour for the cab, I actually had started running on the roads of City of Joy. Can’t believe that. Once again, I started feeling the vibes of the city was syncing with my vibes. Same kind of feeling as it was when I was in Raipur. Hope to see lot of good experiences and memories I could treasure during my stay here in the City of Joy.

Everyone's Own Icons

Feeling down in life is so humane. And searching for an icon during such time is also quite very humane. World is full of icon in that way. In any moment of life, in any kind of situation, in any circumstances, we feel down, there is an icon’s inspirational story of life to bring you back in the lost confidence.

I do feel down in life. It is not very regular phenomenon though these days. I do have made some icon to get inspired of during such moments. And that is my two younger brothers. There are no great accomplishments attached with them as of now, though I know they will make a mark of their own on the World map.

Then what is so inspiring in them that motivate me every time I feel down in life? It is their struggle to achieve something great in life. Whatever both have achieved, have been achieved after struggle, there own struggle. There was nothing readymade for them. Be it their schooling where they fought for every single mark to pass out. Not one time, many times. But this didn’t have let them loose their confidence. The more they were getting minimum marks in the school, the more they were developing their zest to study more. And this zest has bought them earn good professional degree.

One of my brothers is in job and he is struggling day in day out as he shares almost every struggle of his daily life. But this never has brought any frustration in him. He rather works hard to overcome every problem.

But what’s great in this. Everyone is struggling in life to make things straight, to set things moving. Then why my brothers are only one to inspire me if everyone is icon in himself. This may be right, but still I have found my own icons.

जीवन की दौड़ में भागते भागते

जीवन की दौड़ में भागते भागते
अपना बचपन कहा छोड़ आया
याद नहीं.

अमरुद के पेड़ पर एक शर्त पे चढ़ जाना
इमलियों की बेरिओं पे अचूक निशाना लगाना
मटर की छेमियों की तलाश में दर-ब-दर भटकना
उन तिलस्मी तितलियों के पीछे भागते भागते
अपना मासूम बचपन कहा छोड़ आया
याद नहीं.

मोहल्ले की लड़कियों के साथ
इमली के दानों और चूड़ी के टुकड़ों को इकट्ठा करना
उनकी गुड़ियों की शादी में बढ़ चढ़ कर हिस्सा लेना
और शादी के बाद झूठ मुठ का खाने की आवाज़ निकालना
गुड्डे गुड़ियों की शादी में नाचते - कूदते
अपना बेवाक बचपन कहा छोड़ आया
याद नहीं.

गली के हर कुत्ते को एक नाम देना
गिल्ली - डंडे के खेल में हमेशा हार जाना
गेंद और बल्ले की जिद में घंटों खाना छोड़ देना
दोस्तों की एक आवाज़ पर नंगे पैर ही निकल जाना
विकेटों के बीच दौड़ते - दौड़ते
अपना वो बिंदास बचपन कहा छोड़ आया
याद नहीं.

जीवन की दौड़ में भागते भागते

अपना बचपन कहा छोड़ आया
याद नहीं.


-अमितेश

Bapu On The Story Book Road

It was really a long tiring day today. I was so very tired mentally that was just expecting to finish the work very fast and take a complete rest at home. I had left the stock point so fast in the evening as if I have been freed from a long incarceration.

As usual, I took the same habitué road to my house. This road is more of a nation to me. A country that consists of all the different kind of people; brings a lot of happenings every day, every moment that sometimes mesmerizes me while traveling the road. Every time I pass through this road it seems like I am passing through a story book. A story book with a lot of characters having their own stories, interesting stories. But today, I was not in mood to enjoy this road of nation, the story book road. So I was riding my bike fast on this road to reach my house soon.

One of the best qualities of any good story book is that a lot of incidences should be interwoven in such a way that it should spellbind the reader. And this Story Book Road is one of the best books of the world in this regard. So once again story book road turned an interesting page in front of me. While riding fast I saw a big crowd in front of a shop. It made me slow down my hurried speed. This crowd was in front of a liquor shop. People were mad purchasing their quota of liquor. The crowd was a little more than a normal weekend. I was surprised to see this. It was like people were splattering out from the liquor shop and had spread off till the other side of that 40 feet road. Why there are so many crowds? Why people are mad purchasing liquor today? Is it the last day to drink? One after other lot of questions started coming to my mind without getting answered. And here it is. I got a single line answer for all the questions. A banner was hung at the shop saying:-

“The Liquor Shop Will Remain Close on 30th January on the Eve of

Mahatma Gandhi’s Death Anniversary”.

So, the shop owner had shown his allegiance of being an Indian and had fulfilled his responsibility of being a true citizen. Or is it that they wanted to sell more to remove any possibility of losing out business on 30th January? It is not very necessary for a liquor shop to hang a banner to inform the world that they are close on so and so date. And I suppose, by displaying such a message on the shop, you are rather making fun of the nationality than showing a kind gesture towards being a responsible citizen. It’s the pursuance of not loosing out the business for even a single day. Every one has right of doing so. But the rights should be responsible one. One can not and has no right of making fun of Bapu. It is not because of the fact that I have a great respect for him, but because we as a citizen of India has decided that Mahatma Gandhi is “Father of Nation” and we as a nation do respect this on a broader sense.

Bapu, you always have given a reason for India to cherish and even after 62 years of perishing you are bringing better livelihood for the Liquor Shop owners. I know you will feel bad to hear this. But you have a big exonerative heart and we all are your children. But I am feeling a little bad for you. I don’t know if my children would respect you or not. My all tiredness vanished and scatterbrained persisted.

Language No Bar

Language is one thing which secerns every community from other. Even the ethnic group of same community sometimes gets differentiated based upon language. India in this regard is distinguishingly different from the rest of the world as we have 22 official languages and 22000 dialects. In fact we have 35 different languages with their own script and every language is being spoken by more than a million people. But still we are one as an Indian. A great unity in diversity or rather a great diversity in unity.


Language always plays a determinant role in trussing people. A Marathi speaking Hindu always feels closer to a Marathi speaking Muslim, than a Tamil speaking Hindu. A Bangla speaking Christian feels more connected to a Bangla Brahmin than a Malyali Christian.

Language at the same time brings severance between different ethnic groups. A Bangla Bhadra purush may not like a Hindi speaking person or a Marathi would not like a Bhojpuri person.

Understanding socio-psychology of people is not easy. And in India, this changes with every kilometer you travel. The behavioral pattern of one language speaking community with the other language speaking community is very interesting. And I enjoy experiencing such things.

I am in a job that brings me a lot of opportunity to meet many people everyday. And every person is different.

I met a person who knows more than 7 regional languages. He worked in 7 states of India and as a sovainer had bought the language of that state.

I know a South Indian person who knows better Hindi than any born and brought up Hindi speaking person.

But most importantly, last month I meet a person who is having different and funny view about language. I had attended a workshop in my company. There company employees from different parts of India came. People from different parts of the country, people belonging to different community, different language speaking people and people of different ethnic groups with their own tradition and distinguishingly different life style. There one man was Mr. K. Ganesh. He was a Tamil guy. Tamil language is one of the oldest languages of India. The ancestral scripts claims it to be the oldest language, older than Sanskrit. And this brings a proud feeling to a common Tamil person. They normally disapprove Hindi to be National Language. In more panoptic sense, they hate Hindi Speaking people. This is because of the reason that they are having a feeling that it is Hindi because of which Tamil have not got the recognition that it deserves.

So it was Mr. Ganesh of that workshop. A very old employee of our company. He was one of the most curious person of that entire batch. He knew only two languages, English and Tamil. He not at all know Hindi. Wait, rather he learnt 20 words of Hindi. And he is proud of it. Our favorite pastime in the evening was to teach him few more words of Hindi and let him repeat all the words he learnt. This was creating a very funny situation when he was enunciating some words of Hindi in very funny way. But he keep trying and curious of learning more words.

His view about language was that he wanted to teach Tamil to everyone in the company and himself would learn finer Hindi. And then when everyone starts speaking Tamil, he would insist on communicating in Hindi rather than Tamil. Funny. What was there in his mind while saying so, I really don't know neither I want to analyze. But his view was so very entertaining for us. While saying that he want to teach Tamil to every employee of the company, he was having a great respect to his mother tongue. And when he wishes to learn finer Hindi, he was showing equally a great respect to the National Language.

I think people like Ganesh can play a vital role in bridging the gap between the languages of our country. A good learning for me about language.

Thanks Ganesh!

Pragmatic Pragmatism

“There is definitely a marked imbalance in the society based upon the money. This entire world is broadly being differentiated into two groups – Haves and Have-nots. Those having money and those who have not. And as long as this difference would be there, you cannot imagine a society to work with a full potential.”

The entire hall got reverberated with the clap after Kadambani finished her speech.

Kadambani Sharma, a very brilliant student of sociology. She probably was one of the best orator of the college, at least her professor always was saying this to her. She even was popular in her circle of friends. Friends were calling her with the name Manu, as she was having very strong will power and was always doing what her heart think is right.

She was close to almost all the professor of her college, but whom she admire was Prof. Aruna Ghosh, the HOD of Sociology. A strong lady with a very clear thought about anything. She was so bold that even in 50's, when career was not a word go along with girl child, she studied in Presidency College of Calcutta and dared to marry a man of her choice rather than going with her father's choice. A rebellious lady in a very true sense.

Days were passing and Manu was getting more and more popular in the college campus. She was scoring good in every exam and also was getting sharper in her communication skill. People could easily get influenced with her thought. This was very much being observed by Prof. Aruna.

One day Prof. Aruna called Manu to her chamber.

“Come Manu. Sit.”

“Thanks madam” and she took the chair in front of Prof.

After a momentary silence, Prof. Aruna started with a very deep, thoughtful voice, “Manu, what are your plan for the future? Where do you want to see yourself five years down the line?”

“Professor, I didn't have thought much in that direction. Perhaps after completing my masters degree, I would get settled with some boy. My dad has already started searching a perfect match for me.” said Manu.

“But beta, you are quite very brilliant student. I think you are being sent by God for some special purpose on Earth.”

Manu was having a question mark over her face. She was a little confused of Prof. Aruna's sentence. She wasn't understanding what Aruna is saying. Though she never have thought of her career. She was quite a momentary person who enjoys what she is doing rather than worrying much about the future. She didn't have thought of her career or her aim in life.

Seeing Manu in deep thought, Prof. Aruna brought her back to her by continuing, “See Manu, I think you should be serious about your career. I know that you didn't have thought of your aim in the life, That's completely OK. It is not necessary for every girl to think of being independence in life. You only should have to be confident enough and have faith in yourself. This itself will help you to find aim in life, if it would be required in future due to some unforeseen circumstances.” Professor said keeping Manu still in a status of confusion.

“Madam...” Manu tried to clear her confusion by asking on what topic she is speaking.

“No Manu, don't say anything as long as I finish what I want to say.” Professor stopped her before she should interrupt her in her continuity.

“I think”, she continued, “you have got a great talent of speaking and influencing anyone with your very strong words. Moreover your communication skill is backed by a very strong knowledge and clear understanding which helps you speak very convincingly. Considering this ability, I would like you to meet one of the very important person I know. I think you have traits of becoming a great leader. And most importantly, the country need a leader like you who can influence and motivate the countrymen to work for country rather than going abroad and creating any brain drain situation here in India.”

“Leader! Madam don't you think you are over estimating me! I really don't have that caliber of motivating people with my speech. Giving speech in college is some different but giving speech for country is different.” Manu spoke in a single breadth.

“Don't worry beta, I know your potential. And trust me, I won't give you any wrong advice. Trust Me. We are going to meet that person tomorrow. He was one of my student long back. I had a talk with him regarding you. Do you want to meet him?”

“I think I should talk to my parents first.” Replied Manu concluding the meeting.

***

Mr. Harshawardhan Sharma was silently having his dinner. Manu and her mother was looking at Mr. Sharma to speak anything. They were almost spellbound of seeing Mr. Sharma having dinner silently.

“Manu, I didn't have stopped you doing anything. For me you had never been a daughter. I always have considered you my son. If you think politics is something that attracts you then go ahead. The only thing is, the life there is not that easy. You will not always find good people around you. You will have to deal even with people whom you hate to talk, but you still have to talk to them, even worst would have to work with them. Are you ready to face these hardships? If so then go ahead beta, I will always be with you.”

“But dad, I didn't have decided to join politics yet. I just want to meet some political person that Mrs. Aruna think I should meet. I want permission for that only.”

“Who have stopped you doing that. Go ahead”

“You know I never do anything against you. So give me permission of meeting him.” asked Manu.

“Who is that person?”

“I don't know dad”

“Whatever, go meet him. This, I am sure, would be a good experience for you. And, till how long you will keep blackmailing me with this Bharwa Karela! This is really good anyways.”

“Thank you dad. I love you so much.”There was a naughty twinkle in her eyes. This has brought a good smile over Manu's face. Although she wasn't understanding for what reason she is feeling happy.

What else Mr. Sharma expect than the happiness on his daughter's face.

***

Manu and Prof. Aruna were sitting just opposite to Pradumna Barik on a wooden chair.

Pradumna Barik. An averaged height, middle aged man with a very simple dressing. A checked white and black shirt, a plain grey paint and a pair of striped Bata sandles. An old HMT key string watch in hand. A thin mustache over long face. Black hair with a little graying near the side locks. A very different outlook than that of Manu had imagined. But he was having something which was making Manu a little nervous sitting infront of him.

“Manu, can I call you by name Manu?” Barik started the talk by breaking the ice.

“Why not sir. This would be my pleasure.” Manu, the great orator was literally struggling to find word to reply a simple question.

“See, I have heard a lot from Professor Aruna about you. I have heard that you are too rich in words. Politics today is really in need of intellectuals who can actually convey people what they think and not only this, they can influence people's head rather than their legs to follow them. And I am happy to know that you are not only a good orator but also a very brilliant student who have in depth understanding of the subject. The way Indian politics is degrading, I think young people like you would be a boon for the dying Indian politics. But it is not only the good communication skill or an above average marks in the university that is needed to stand apart in the crowd of politics but you should also know the sociology in a practical sense.” Pradumna was in a flow of saying this while making an eye contact with Manu.

Manu was listening him spellboundedly. It was like someone is narrating some epic poetry in a very classic manner and audiences are travelling with the narrator in the aura he had created with his narration.

“Professor Aruna really want you to work for country. So along with Professor, I have made an itinerary for you to actually travel and meet the real citizen of India to understand what is the importance of good leader in country and why a good leader is required. I am sure, in this process, you will also be able to identify yourself which you may not be knowing about you.” Pradumna continued.

“Manu, but you will have to be a little careful about your this visit to the real India, as this would be a little undercover visit for you. You will be going to some of the villages of interior most India which cannot be seen even in the micro maps of the country. Because of this, even the Government of India is not seeing these parts of the country and no development has reached these integral part of India yet. One of our young leader would accompany you throughout your journey of 4 days. And don't worry about your security and safety. This will be our concern. After coming back from there, you can decide your fate.” Pradumna concluded.

“I think this would be an exciting visit for me. I am ready to do this. But may I know where do I have to go?”

“You will have to go to Bailadila of Chattisgarh. Its the bordering area of Chattisgarh with Andhra Pradesh.”

“But that is a naxal affected area. It would be dangerous to go there.”

“Who said that naxalism is a dangerous thing. See Naxalites are revolutionaries. And you know any revolution is meant to bring changes in status quo. If there is a philosophy and if there are lot of followers of that philosophy, you cannot say that there is something wrong with that philosophy. The only need is to know that thought process a little closely.”

“Yes you are right. But Communism was required when there was a marked societal differences. Now its not the case with our country. By and large we have achieved a social justice kind of thing. Now what is the need of this aggressive communism?” Finally Manu coming in her real skin.

“Any philosophy should not necessarily address entire population of the country neither it is required to be acceptable by the entire country. But the fact is, if there is any philosophy, is it addressing the group of people whom it meant to be. And yes, Naxalism is one such philosophy that is addressing the needs of the class of people who are the real cause of this philosophy to bring forth. And trust me, they are considerably in a good number in our country.” Pradumna has taken a little pause to let Manu understand first what has been said. He came to the window of that small room which was facing one of the biggest slum of the country and lit his cigarette, took some puffs and returned back to Manu's chair. Manu was still in deep thought while until now an outspoken Professor Aruna was just listening the conversation between the two. Aruna has chose to be a listener in this whole process of realization of Manu.

“And... when we say that there a social justice has been established in the country in a broader sense, we hardly know our own country.” This voice of Pradumna has broke the trance of Manu.

The voice continued, “When we say so, we see our surroundings only. We see our maid sipping tea with us, we think a social justice has came. We see our driver knowing about sizzlers, we say that his exactly is a social justice. We see slum people copying any bollywood star dressing, we say that this is exactly the social justice. But if we really want to know the social gap, we need to see the actual India, which either is out of sight or we don't want to see that India.”

Pradumna took a deep breadth. As if while remembering the real India, he actually had went through that India.

“And that is the reason why we want you to see that India and decide yourself if the social justice has came in this country or not. You know your India till now, during these 4 days, you will be able to see India which I am talking about, the India which always gives me sleepless nights. I want to see a single India in the eyes of every Indian. And I know, people like you will help me bring that India of my dream into reality.” This thought only has brought a smile over Pradumna face.

“Sir, who are you?” Manu was started feeling goose bumps while listening to Pradumna.

“He is Pradumna Barik.” This time Aruna said breaking her century long silence.

“You are ... The Pradumna Barik.” Manu was more shocked than surprised. “You are that Maoist Leader who is underground and no official photo of yours is with government.”

“Yes, I am.” He threw the bud of the cigarette from the window.

“Don't worry. Nothing will happen to you. The Police don't know about me being here. They won't come here neither would they dare touching you.” Knowing what is going on in the mind of Manu, Pradumna consoled her.

Manu was speechless. She wasn't knowing what to say. She again was falling short of words. She didn't have understood why this person is talking to me without any veil and how police don't have snaps of this person.

“See Manu, we are social reformers. Police know about us that way only. But then there are supporter of this philosophy there also. I think you would need more time to decide whether you want to see my India or not.”

“No Sir. I want to see that India. I don't know whether I support this philosophy or not. But at least I want to understand the need of this philosophy. For that I surely want to go and see the India you are talking about.”

“Nothing strange Professor Aruna. What you said was right. Manu is really a brave girl. I could see my India coming to the reality. Girl I am proud of you.”

“Manu, Manavendra will meet you this Sunday at the Coffee House in the afternoon. He is one of the most dynamic leader of this philosophy. From there you will have to catch a train to Raipur in the evening. You'll reach Raipur on Monday morning. From their your journey of knowing yourself begin. Rest information you will get their.” Professor Aruna was narrating the itinerary to Manu in a very chronological manner. “You will stay their till Friday and on Saturday morning you will have to come back to Mumbai by flight. You will get your ticket there in Raipur. This is going to be a very exhaustive journey with every moment of learning. Are you ready for that?” The question was more like I know you are going rather than asking.

Manu shook her head in yes without saying anything. Perhaps she was still in Pradumna's India.

***

Manu was having 3 days with her going to Chattisgarh. She studied a lot of books on Naxalism. The more she was reading, the more she started hating this philosophy. Thousand of policemen have been killed by naxalites in their violent protests. Many civilians has been affected of the land mines and lost their lives. Thousands of miles of country's land is still underdeveloped as people feared of going to naxal affected area for any development work. The literacy rate in those area are substantially lower than the national average. The infant mortality rate is high as there is no medical facility available.

The Adivasi's are still using traditional ways of treating diseases. The philosophy was not bad but this didn't have bought any marked changes in the life of people for whom this philosophy is meant for.

But then there are people like Pradumna Barik who still have great belief in this thought process. Kadambani has read about Pradumna. He was the topper of SSC and HSC. He graduated from Mumbai University and was awarded Gold Medal their. Then have went to prestigious Cambridge University for his Masters degree in World History. There again was recognized as the best student of the year. Did his M Phill from there. Even after getting so much a degree and an offer of Research Scholar, he came back to India to serve his motherland. He was intellectual in every sense.

Kadambani was feeling very much confused about this philosophy. At one side there is a very strong statistics of many brutal murders of people in the name of naxalism is letting Kadambani hate this philosophy then at other side she read about lot of people who support this philosophy and working for this. They all are best in their class as far as intellectualism is concern.

Finally she closed all the books and stopped thinking about naxalism. She decided better to see Pradumna's India from her own eyes than seeing different India from the eyes of the authors of the books she borrowed from the library of the college.

***

“Hi Kadambani. I am Manavendra Rana.” A voice followed by a hand came from the left side of Kadambani.

A tall and smart man with curly hair and clean shave in western attire was standing with a pleasant smile over his face. His hand was still projected towards Kadambani for hand shake.

“Yes I know I am smart enough to keep a lady staring at me, but you can get a chance of touching me by shaking your hand with me.”

“Oh I am sorry.” and she raised her hand to shake with him. “I am Kadambani. How are you?”

“I am good.” He took the chair in front of her. “I am sure, you must have read a lot of article about Naxalism.”

“Yes I have, but the more I am reading it the more confusion it creates. I think I should experience this whole world rather than going by the experiences of the authors.” She asked with a pause, “What would you like to have?”

“A coffee, hot eternal and nice coffee.” replied Manavendra with as warm voice as coffee.

“You must try Cafe Late here. They make the best Late in the world.”

“Whatever you say lovely lady.”

“Hey I have heard that you are one of the best youth leader of this philosophy. But you are more like a Casanova kind of a person.” Though enjoying his flirting, still she said to avoid any misunderstanding in the first meeting.

“Thanks a lot for this compliment, if it is.” he smirked, “But I am youth, and most importantly I am a youth man. Isn't it enough reason to be a little flirtatious. And yes I am follower of this philosophy by choice.”

“But I again have some apprehension about naxalism. I think this philosophy is somewhere being imposed unnecessarily to the poor Indian to keep the flame of the unnecessary revolution alive. And that is definitely not required in today's India or even in major part of world.” Finally Kadambani spoke out her heart.

“I like your aggression. This is going to help you in future. But only one thing, hold this thought. I will discuss you this again after a week.” Manavendra closed this topic as he felt this is not right place to discuss serious subjects like this, neither was this a right time as Kadambani is having one sided opinion based upon the books she read.

The coffee came there and they enjoyed the coffee talking about anything and everything they think is required to talk. Kadambani was enjoying this talk. Manavendra was really intelligent boy. Most importantly, he was quite dramatic while explaining anything. This made him sound very interesting.

***

The train was right time in the evening. Both boarded the train in the assigned coach. They took a little time to get familiar with the co-passengers. After a little talk, both went to their berth and got engrossed in the books they were carrying. While Manavendra quickly went to to sleep, Manu was still thinking about the Naxalism. She was in a state of surprise of thinking if she is really going to Bastar. And this visit is just to test her understanding about the naxalism. The philosophy that she still know a little. She never have imagined in the wildest of her dream that she would visit Bastar kind of dangerous place for justifying the philosophy which she already have developed a thought that this is not required in today's world.

“Peasants of the world are being exploited and didn't have got what they deserve, not even the assurance by the government to provide them the minimum amenities required for running a life. The right of existence is also being questioned by the capitalists on the basis of their cast, community and work. People has been differentiated into rich and poor. Now to exploit people further, poor again has been differentiated into those who qualify to run their life by serving capitalists and those who need to be exploited for maintaining the stature of capitalist. This lowest level of citizen has been least organized and hence were suffering. The suffering of this class of citizen has given birth to this philosophy called communism. All around the world, an effort had been made to organize the laborer of the world.

The fire of this has even reached India. And the communist movement started here. The movement was initially non-violent type. This didn't have got much popularity in the initial stage of coming to India. The reason was very simple. That was the time when India was struggling for her liberation. Independence struggle was more important than class struggle.

1967 was one year that had bought revolution in the communist philosophy. The premier of the communist philosophy was Mao -Tse- tung. He once had said “Weapons are an important factor in war, but not the decisive factor; it is people, not things that are decisive.” This thought had lead to limited violence in the class struggle. The communist struggle was limited to strike and non-cooperative movement with a little violence. Then again, the violence was limited to harming the government properties or properties of the capitalist as a part of their protest against the government / capitalist policy.

Till 1967, the term Naxalism was not into existence. In fact, there was no any philosophy called Naxalism.

The term Naxalites comes from Naxalbari a small village in West Bengal. Here a section of Communist Party of India (Marxist) (CPI(M)) led by Charu Majumdar and Kanu Sanyal led a violent uprising in 1967, trying to develop a "revolutionary opposition" in opposition to the CPI(M) leadership. The insurrection started on May 25, 1967 in Naxalbari village when a peasant was attacked by hired hands over a land dispute. Local peasants retaliated by attacking the local landlords and the violence escalated. Majumdar greatly admired Mao- Tse- tung of China and advocated that Indian peasants and lower classes must follow in his footsteps and overthrow the government and upper classes whom he held responsible for their plight. He engendered the Naxalite movement through his writings, the most famous being the “Historic Eight Documents” which formed the basis of Naxalite ideology.

This movement started going beyond the poor and peasant. The philosophy has contaminated the youth also. The Naxalites gained a strong presence amongst the radical sections of the students’ movement in Calcutta. Large number of students left their education to join revolutionary activities. Majumdar adjusted the tactics of CPI(ML), and claimed that the revolutionary warfare was to take place not only in the rural areas but everywhere and spontaneously. Thus Majumdar's 'annihilation line', a dictum that Naxalites should assassinate individual "class enemies" as a part of the insurrection was put into practice not only against landlords, but also against university teachers, police officers, politicians and others.

Throughout Calcutta, schools were shut down. Naxalite students took over Jadavpur University and used the machine shop facilities to make pipe guns to fight the police. Their headquarters became Presidency College, Kolkata.

The Naxalites soon found ardent supporters among the educated elite, and Delhi's prestigious St. Stephen's College, alma mater of many contemporary Indian leaders and thinkers, became a hotbed of Naxalite activities. This somehow became a kind of fashion among elite class to go rural and work for the improvement of the rural India. This had made this extremist communism philosophy popular in entire India except the North - East part and Jammu & Kasmir.

But right from 1967 till date, no marked changes has been observed in the life of the suppressers. The class differences are becoming narrower not because of the fact that the movement is bringing changes in the life of peasant, but because of the massive urbanization in India. The famous Bhoodan Andolan has bought marked changes in the life of land-less peasant. Then Jai Prakash Narayan's movement had played vital role in generating awareness among the suppressed class. This all was followed by the great IT Revolution in India. This spread in India like a Prairie Fire. Many changes was seen in the agriculture sector with the advent of information technology. People got acquainted with the latest technology and modern ways of cropping. Though the development didn't have reached in each and every nooks and corner of India. This is because, in those underprivileged areas, there was some or the other problems. In the far interiors of Bihar, Uttar Prades, Madhya Pradesh, Orissa, Andha Pradesh, the reason for being underdeveloped was this aggressive communism called Naxalism. In the North – East part of the country, the reason was very geographical as well as frontier issues with the bordering countries and the Naga – Kuki struggle. Similarly in the J & K, the reason for not reaching the development with the speed that is required is because of the terrorism.

In just 20 years of independence, some of the class of people became restless with the kind of development going on. When we as an India was struggling to run a country in an effective ways, various reforms was coming, innovation and industrialization was taking place; a small group of people get into hurry of giving the right to peasant and laborers of the country and saw violence the only way of getting that right. They motivated Peasants to hold weapons instead of their traditional agricultural equipment and participate in the violent struggle. The entire movement has brought a jolt in the communist fraternity of India. But this has been seen as an opportunity in India by China. They had started supporting this by pumping money to this violent liberation movement...”

When she slept while reading, she didn't know. She even didn't have switched off the reading light of the berth. She woke up only with a noise. She asked the passerby of the gangway about the station. The passing man said in hurry, “Madam, this is Akola Jn.”

“And when would Raipur Jn. Come.” she asked.

That man replied, “this is 5:30am. You'll reach Raipur by afternoon 3:00.”

***