In every ones life a time comes when he or she regrets for some of the acts of his / her past. I am finding myself in the same kind of situation. I don’t know I was wrong at that point of time or not but I am feeling that whatever I did then was definitely not an act expected from a human. This is not first time when I am feeling sorry about that moment. Many a times, that incident waves over my eyes and wet them.
I was studying in Std 4th or 5th when my exams were over and was having winter vacation. This was for about a month and was given a lot of homework by my school. Those days, I was having a habit of reading comics. I even was having a collection of comics and books. I always use to read and re read them during my vacations. I remember, Patna was having a huge book fair every year during January or February. I was regular in that book fair and always use to wait for that book fair for the whole year. My father use to give me a Rs. 100 for that book fair every year. He was expecting me to go to the book fair, eat, and enjoy there with my friends. But I was always saving money for the whole year to purchase some books from there. So including the money which I was receiving from my father, I always use to purchase lots of books from there. This was making my father happy as he is having great respect for goddess Saraswati.
But that year I didn’t have received even a single penny from my father for the purpose of purchasing books. Perhaps he was facing a very sever financial crisis. I remember he even was going to his office walking instead of taking some rickshaw or bus to save some coins. And that time when I asked for money for book fair, he said no and said try to manage this time and not purchase any book. But I started shouting that I need money and that’s final, he said, see my boy you already have lot of books in your bookshelf. So this time don’t purchase any book. Next year I will give you double money to purchase books. I know, he was saying this in a great pain but even he was helpless. So I went to my room and stopped talking to him. Two days after this incident, I asked to my Mother that I need Rs 20 for purchasing a pen as I don’t have any pen and will have to finish my homework. My mother said, beta you already have lot of pen so use them only as you father is very much in depression due to the kind of financial crisis he is facing.
But I was firm over my stand that if you didn’t have given money to purchase books then give me money to purchase a Pilot Pen. Otherwise I will not do my homework. With a lot of pain, my dad handed over a 20-rupee note to me and I went to market to purchase a Pilot Pen. I purchased one, which literally was insignificant to me as I was having a lot of collection of pens.
Two days after that I was coming home in the evening from one of my friend’s home whose home was near to my Dad’s office. I was on my bicycle. I saw my dad on the way to home walking. I felt shock to see him walking down to home from his office that was about 6 Km. Just to see me happy, he had given Rs. 20 to me for a pen which surely was not required by me. He was suffering from this financial crisis and never had let us feel the situation. I was shocked. Should I cry or what to do…
I came home and went to my room, locked my room and started crying. I still have that pen with me for which my father has suffered. I don’t know would I be able to return this 20- rupee to my dad or not. Even if I work for my whole life, I wouldn’t be able to save, rather earn that 20-rupee to return my dad…
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